nothing feels better than winning monopoly. not love. not sex. not free pizza. nothing
I’m sorry, have you tried pizza…?
yes and it doesn’t compare to owning half the board and watching the light die from your friends eyes as you take their money and feel your friendship slowly deteriorate
i like you
i read somewhere that sleep creates emotional strength but i sleep like 12 hours a day but also cry when a fictional character i just met does something awkward
IM MAKING A PIE AND I ACCIDENTALLY PUT IODINE IN IT INSTEAD OF VANILLA EXTRACT
I ALMOST FED THIS PIE TO MY FAMILY
I WAS GOING TO FEED THIS PIE TO MY CLASSMATES
I WAS ABOUT TO MURDER PEOPLE THROUGH PIE
LIKE LOOK AT THIS FUCKING PIE
DOESNT IT LOOK NICE
DONT YOU WANT TO EAT IT
TOO FUCKING BAD ITS POISONOUS YOU’LL DIE
HOW DO YOU MIX UP IODINE AND VANILLA EXTRACT
WHY DO YOU HAVE IODINE IN THE KITCHEN
WHY DO YOU HAVE IT AT ALL
I just started seeing a new girl and I have to say I like her a lot and I probably will be with her for a very long time
Haha thanks I cant even believe how lucky I am it took me completely by surprise.
Stop making random letters bold fuckhead
You are right and it wont happen again Im a little tired and im completely sorry I understand your frustration.
This is my favorite thing on tumblr.